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Pacing and Leading
In order to be able to lead someone in the direction you want, you must first pace them
Pacing can be done in a variety of ways:
Pacing can be done in a variety of ways:
'Mirroring'
Physical Mirroring
Mirror the speed of their speech
Mirror their breathing rate
Briefly, you can mirror, or imitate your targets’ language pattern, vocal inflections,
Non-Physical Mirroring
Mirror their ideas, thought, beliefs, values
Appear to agree with the other person
How to agree without agreeing: say things like "I see your point" or "it's certainly hard to argue with that"
Never argue – appear to agree by saying things like “I see your point”
Tell people what they want to hear
Match your targets values, thoughts, ideas, behavior – in other words, become them
Tell people what they want to hear, what they crave, what they want, what they dream of, what they desire
To pace someone conversationally, say:
"You'll agree that..."
Language Patterns for Embedding Commands
To get someone to do something specific, you can embed the corresponding command in your sentence
There are several ways to do this:
1. People Can...(command)
2. You might...(command)
3. Quotations
4. Make the command part of a sentence but stress it using different tonality, spacing out the words from the rest of the sentence etc.
'I wonder if ___' pattern
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Quotations / Isomorphic Stories
You can make it seem like you are quoting yourself or someone else
Let's say you're trying to give a crumpled old 5 dollar bill to a 7/11 clerk and they resist you. You can say: 'Well, the clerk who gave this bill saw that I had the same reservations but then he said 'Go ahead, take it, it's ok'"
Or, for example you can say: "I had the same problem but then I said to myself 'command'"
X told me "command"
The equivalent of isomorphic stories in advertising: testimonials
Flattery Works
Use flattery (but do it judiciously)
Outwardly the other person may dismiss your flattery but deep inside they think "(s)he's right"
Outwardly the other person may dismiss your flattery but deep inside they think "(s)he's right"
Find And Point Out A Common Enemy
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How To Change Beliefs
Point out the negative consequences of the belief
How To Redirect The Conversation
"The question here is not (topic you're trying to avoid); the real issue is (topic you want to discuss)"
Trance Induction Through Confusion
Ways to induce trance through confusion is to:
Stop your sentence midway
Stop your sentence midway
To make someone find the answer to a question when they are confused, perplexed or undecided
I know you don't know, but if you knew, what would the answer be?
To inform someone of something without bruising their ego
Say: "As we know..." or "Experience shows that..."
The Art of Improvisation
Learn how to embed your desired messages into your language, as it is being created i.e., take advantage of emerging language patterns that fit your desired message, and embed it in your targets subconscious using altered voice tonality etc.
To make a point, use triplets in your speech
e.g. "...the cause endures, the hope still lives, and the dream shall never die" (Ted Kennedy)
When you want to justify something
Use the word "because"
Make 'predictions' but make them sound like oppinions
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Objections
Always try to predict the other persons silent, unspoken objections, address their concerns before they even voice them
To induce a particular emotional or mental state
How would it feel if you _ ?
Can you imagine _ ?
Use the I-You Shift
Start by saying 'X happened to me; you know how it feels when something like that happens - you feel (insert emotion)'
Can you imagine _ ?
Use the I-You Shift
Start by saying 'X happened to me; you know how it feels when something like that happens - you feel (insert emotion)'
Emotions You Can Manipulate To Persuade
Future Regret
Subliminal Seductive Phrases
Subliminal seductive phrases are seemingly innocuous phrases sprinkled into normal conversation
However, for a number of reasons, they register at the 'targets' subconscious as sexual
For example if you say 'just a sec' or 'give me a sec' using the right intonation, it can register in the other person's mind as 'sex'!
It has been reported that former President Bush was instructed to pronounce Sadam Hussein's name as 'Sodom', alluding to sodomy
However, for a number of reasons, they register at the 'targets' subconscious as sexual
For example if you say 'just a sec' or 'give me a sec' using the right intonation, it can register in the other person's mind as 'sex'!
It has been reported that former President Bush was instructed to pronounce Sadam Hussein's name as 'Sodom', alluding to sodomy
To let someone know that you find their words or actions disagreeable
Say the exact opposite "I'm not offended by X, Y, Z"
How To Make People Decide More Readily
To make people decide more readily, give them fewer choices
"Fewer choices mean more yeses"
Hasn't it ever happened to you to be at a book fair with thousands of books and not buy a single one in the end?
It's because of the plethora of choices
Present the desired choice last
"Fewer choices mean more yeses"
Hasn't it ever happened to you to be at a book fair with thousands of books and not buy a single one in the end?
It's because of the plethora of choices
Present the desired choice last
How To Make A Threat
Do not blatantly state a threat
Imply it
Threaten in a quiet manner, never in anger
This way the threat will gain a life of it's own in the other person's mind and will be magnified 1000-fold!
